You said you had defined yourself
In the crooks of my elbows, in the angle of my nose.
I looked in the mirror and found the curves of me
To be very much my own.
. . .
I would catch your eyes from across a room,
Across an ocean and beyond a beach,
And hold them there for precious, fragile seconds
In a dire reluctance to move
Lest my return be skewed, construed as something
More than coffeepots or the metal feet of desks.
. . .
Burn pictures of me now as the fog rolls in on mouse feet
Pray to God and science that they can lead you
Drag you
To a warmer paradise
Because my curves are not for you, dear.
My self is not for you.













Comments
My favorite is the first stanza - it really encapsulates the idea that you have, especially the contrast between his (kind of silly) descriptions and the narrator's self-description. The last line of the second stanza would work better if you had set up the image a bit more, I think, though that my own personal preference speaking. I like the "lead you/ Drag you," idea, although I think you could do it without giving the second half have a whole line to itself. And the last two lines are fantastic. I love this poem (and may it love me back
PS: The title is genius.
And I'm sure it loves you back.
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.........muffin!
I looked in the mirror and found the curves of me
To be very much my own.
- this line really did it for me, i got the sense of voice clear and clean
however, the internal rhymes of
skewed, construed.. sort of distracted me.. great poem
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- the faith of wind, betrayed by the trust of birds -
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A good photograph is knowing where to stand
- Ansel Adams
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"Six hours later, I hadn't written a thing. But I did win 7 out of 245 games of solitaire. I felt I achieved something in the end."
Proud Enemy of the Mysongynistic Dolphin Cult.
"It's not revenge if you don't win!!"
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look, stare and just walk away
Solitaire is the ultimate procrastination tool.
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"..let him deceive me as much as he likes, he can never cause me to become nothing, so long as I think I am something."
~ René Descartes
I believe in Lord Belial the Unbound as my Saviour. If you do too, copypasta for great justice.
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